You down with OCD?! Yeah you know me!

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

Those three words make most people picture of a person engaged in some insane hand-washing ritual or nit-picky cleaning habits, but that is not the whole picture. I personally have OCD and I can tell you it is not as funny or light-hearted as society makes it out to be. I get really annoyed when I hear my friends and family make jokes about being "so OCD" because they have a strict cleaning regimen or because they like things done their way. Those types of things are what you see on the outside of a person with OCD. What is going on inside their head is actually a scary, confusing hot mess!

I can recall so many events from my childhood that scream OCD, but I never let anyone see them. I was nervous and ashamed by my thoughts. Growing up Christian I knew that God was in control of everything, but I still would fear that if I didn't do this or that just right I would get sick or something bad would happen to someone I loved. I was fortunate enough to have an AMAZING childhood. I was an only child, which has it's priviledges! I had every toy you could inmagine (except the Barbie Dream House...yeah I'm still bitter about that one). I was loved and doted upon by most every adult in my life. I never had to wear hand-me-downs or worn out shoes. I got fancy prom dresses, a cruise on my 18th birthday, and most importantly unlimited moral support. Even with all that, every single one of my childhood memories is of me feeling nervous, anxious, scared, shy, you name it!

OCD is so hard to explain and I do intend to either blog or write out my personal struggles with it someday (I think!) but for now, I wanted to share some information that helps clear up some of the misconceptions of OCD...it is SO much more than wanting all of your DVD's organized by year and in alphabetical order. It's more than checking and re-checking that the door is locked. This article does a good job of describing what it FEELS like to have OCD. It's about children with OCD but it totally applies to people of any age. All of the following is taken directly from http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/OCD.html

With OCD, upsetting or scary thoughts or images, called obsessions, pop into a person's mind and are hard to shake.

Think of OCD as an "overactive alarm system." The rise in anxiety or worry is so strong that a child feels like he or she must perform the task or dwell on the thought, over and over again, to the point where it interferes with everyday life.

Most kids with OCD realize that they really don't have to repeat the behaviors over and over again, but the anxiety can be so great that they feel that repetition is "required" to neutralize the uncomfortable feeling.

In addition to feeling frustrated or guilty for not being able to control their own thoughts or actions, kids with OCD also may suffer from low self-esteem or from shame or embarrassment about what they're thinking or feeling (since they often realize that their fears are unrealistic, or that their rituals are not realistically going to prevent their feared events).

Kids might have difficulties with attention or concentration because of the intrusive thoughts.

Among kids and teens with OCD, the most common obsessions include:
•fear of dirt or germs
•fear of contamination
•a need for symmetry, order, and precision
•religious obsessions
•preoccupation with body wastes
•lucky and unlucky numbers
•sexual or aggressive thoughts
•fear of illness or harm coming to oneself or relatives
•preoccupation with household items
•intrusive sounds or words

When a child with OCD tries to contain these thoughts or behaviors, this creates anxiety.

Doctors consider OCD to be a pattern of obsessive thinking and rituals that does one or more of the following:
•takes up more than an hour each day
•causes distress
•interferes with daily activities

October Bucket List

In no particular order, here are the things I would love to do this month;

~ hayride with Cider & Donuts
~ watch Hocus Pocus & make halloween cupcakes with Ava
~ go to a Halloween Party
~ watch Dark Shadows & the Woman in Black while enjoying halloween themed snacks (thank you pinterest!)
~ Halloweekends at Cedar Point
~ take Ava to Trick or Treat & Ghost Train at Crossroads Village
~ carve pumpkins & bake the seeds
~ drink some of my fave Witches Brew wine
~ host or go to a seance (er...maybe!)
~ spend a long weekend at the cabin
~ introduce Ava to HalloweenTown and Twitches
~ help out at the Trunk Trot & harvest party at Ava's school
~ go to some of the awesome upcoming events at Lotus Healing Arts Center
~ halloween & fall crafts with Ava

That's my list (for now) - not sure I'll have time to fit it all in!! Why does the best month of the year have to go by so quickly??

What are some things you are looking forward to doing this month?