"Who am I to so arrogantly assume that I deserve better?"
This is the thought on my heart today. I am always looking to the future, hoping and wondering what's next, waiting for something better. But why should I assume there is anything better out there for me?? There are so many people in impossibly rotten situations, and they hope for something better too...I should just shut-up and learn to be happy with the life God has given me.
I am developing a new appreciation for the little things in life. The way my heart feels like it might burst when Ava tells me she loves me. The taste & warmth of a cup of coffee in the morning. The smell of my favorite fabric softner. The feeling of snuggling into a warm bed each night. There are so many things that I truly enjoy in my simple everyday life. And that is what it's really all about.
Sure I'd love to be a successful career woman, have crazy amounts of money and travel the world. And of course I want Prince Charming and the castle and a bunch of pretty, perfectly-behaved children. But that is never going to happen, and I'm ok with that. I may never leave Genesee County (though I will certainly try!). I may never have a career. I will never meet my Prince charming. But I will wake up every day and be happy. I will slow down and appreciate the "sweet nothings" that light up my life. I will do my best to better serve the Lord, to be a better friend, a better daughter, a better mother, a better person.
At some point you grow up and realize that life is really just about surviving and making the best of the life you've been given. God has a plan for me, for you, for everyone. I have finally fully surrendered to the fact that I am not actually in control, God is. If I am meant for bigger and better things I know He will lead me along that path, but right now I feel like He is whispering to me something a friend recently told me... "Bloom where you are planted, love"
Monday, November 28, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thankful
I have been sick for the past two weeks, so I didn't get to follow through with posting something I was thankful for every day leading up to Thanksgiving. I actually spent most of Thanksgiving Day in bed, which was a blessing in it's self!
As I reflect back to Thanksgiving a year ago, I honestly can't even remember it. My life was in ruin and I was living in a permanent fog of confusion. By the grace of God I can finally say that I have broke through that fog which consumed my life for the past 16 months. I am seeing and thinking clearly for the first time in a long time and it feels pretty good. A side-effect of that has been the reality of all that's happened during the fog. It's almost like a whole new heart-break sometimes. BUT again, by the grace of God I am able to get out of bed (most days) and be the best mom I can be for Ava and truly enjoy the little things in life.
Through the direct mistakes of others and also a few colossal mistakes of my own, I have grown and matured so much. I have a better understanding of God and His perfect timing. Most importantly I have learned that the world does not in fact revolve around me. Shocking, I know. I really GET the concepts of 'don't sweat the small stuff' and 'find joy in everyday'. I feel like my heart & mind have matured and I can see the BIG PICTURE. It's such a liberating feeling to be free from the bonds of small-mindedness. This Thanksgiving I am able to smile and say that I am truly thankful for many things, but the thing I am most thankful for this year is the Grace and Love and Guidance of God!
“But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.”
1 Peter 5:10
As I reflect back to Thanksgiving a year ago, I honestly can't even remember it. My life was in ruin and I was living in a permanent fog of confusion. By the grace of God I can finally say that I have broke through that fog which consumed my life for the past 16 months. I am seeing and thinking clearly for the first time in a long time and it feels pretty good. A side-effect of that has been the reality of all that's happened during the fog. It's almost like a whole new heart-break sometimes. BUT again, by the grace of God I am able to get out of bed (most days) and be the best mom I can be for Ava and truly enjoy the little things in life.
Through the direct mistakes of others and also a few colossal mistakes of my own, I have grown and matured so much. I have a better understanding of God and His perfect timing. Most importantly I have learned that the world does not in fact revolve around me. Shocking, I know. I really GET the concepts of 'don't sweat the small stuff' and 'find joy in everyday'. I feel like my heart & mind have matured and I can see the BIG PICTURE. It's such a liberating feeling to be free from the bonds of small-mindedness. This Thanksgiving I am able to smile and say that I am truly thankful for many things, but the thing I am most thankful for this year is the Grace and Love and Guidance of God!
“But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.”
1 Peter 5:10
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thanksgiving Countdown
So Thanksgiving is one week from today! For the next week I'll post some things I am thankful for each day.
Today 11/17/11 I am thankful for my precious, beautiful, smart, funny, energetic, silly, sweet, fiesty, sassy & loving daughter. Today is her birthday and I can not believe she is 4 already!! The time really does fly. She is growing into a wonderful young lady...for the most part ;)
Today 11/17/11 I am thankful for my precious, beautiful, smart, funny, energetic, silly, sweet, fiesty, sassy & loving daughter. Today is her birthday and I can not believe she is 4 already!! The time really does fly. She is growing into a wonderful young lady...for the most part ;)
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