One of my biggest struggles in this stage of my life is that I don't have a career. Not that I am like super into working or anything (My ideal career would be an heiress or a wife to a billionaire. I don't want much.) I just wish that I could do one of the things I love for the rest of my life. Throughout my life there have been two careers I've always dreamed of having. But life takes funny twists and turns and you often end up nowhere near your intended destination.
I recently completed dental assisting school, but it is not even close to anything I would ever enjoy doing. The whole medical field has a big red X on it for me. It would be torture...medical is so calculated and precise and stringent. There is no room for improvisation or creativity or happy mistakes. Honestly I only chose dental school because it was a quick fairly simple program and I was a recently divorced single-mom without a penny to my name. I needed something that would pay the bills ASAP. Turns out available dental jobs are hard to find and the few interviews I have been on abruptly ended once I mentioned my education was from Ross (talk about a $15,000 disappointment!).
If I had the time & money I would be in school right now working on one of two degrees; English Major with a Minor in Creative Writing, or Early Elementary Education. Those have both been my passion for most of my life. I love writing and I love children. To be able to give them the tools necessary to become educated individuals, as well as provide a safe and loving atmosphere five days a week would be a dream come true. As would having a published novel!
But everytime I think about those posibilities I tell myself to stop being ridiculous. I have an abundance of excuses, and most are actually legit. For example; I can't afford it, I don't have the time, I need to be working instead of taking a full load of classes, I'm too old, IT'S TOO LATE.
Ugh...I try to not worry myself with regrets, but if I had to chose one that kills me the most it would have to be not being serious about college and sticking it out to completion of a degree when I was young and able.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
You down with OCD?! Yeah you know me!
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
Those three words make most people picture of a person engaged in some insane hand-washing ritual or nit-picky cleaning habits, but that is not the whole picture. I personally have OCD and I can tell you it is not as funny or light-hearted as society makes it out to be. I get really annoyed when I hear my friends and family make jokes about being "so OCD" because they have a strict cleaning regimen or because they like things done their way. Those types of things are what you see on the outside of a person with OCD. What is going on inside their head is actually a scary, confusing hot mess!
I can recall so many events from my childhood that scream OCD, but I never let anyone see them. I was nervous and ashamed by my thoughts. Growing up Christian I knew that God was in control of everything, but I still would fear that if I didn't do this or that just right I would get sick or something bad would happen to someone I loved. I was fortunate enough to have an AMAZING childhood. I was an only child, which has it's priviledges! I had every toy you could inmagine (except the Barbie Dream House...yeah I'm still bitter about that one). I was loved and doted upon by most every adult in my life. I never had to wear hand-me-downs or worn out shoes. I got fancy prom dresses, a cruise on my 18th birthday, and most importantly unlimited moral support. Even with all that, every single one of my childhood memories is of me feeling nervous, anxious, scared, shy, you name it!
OCD is so hard to explain and I do intend to either blog or write out my personal struggles with it someday (I think!) but for now, I wanted to share some information that helps clear up some of the misconceptions of OCD...it is SO much more than wanting all of your DVD's organized by year and in alphabetical order. It's more than checking and re-checking that the door is locked. This article does a good job of describing what it FEELS like to have OCD. It's about children with OCD but it totally applies to people of any age. All of the following is taken directly from http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/OCD.html
With OCD, upsetting or scary thoughts or images, called obsessions, pop into a person's mind and are hard to shake.
Think of OCD as an "overactive alarm system." The rise in anxiety or worry is so strong that a child feels like he or she must perform the task or dwell on the thought, over and over again, to the point where it interferes with everyday life.
Most kids with OCD realize that they really don't have to repeat the behaviors over and over again, but the anxiety can be so great that they feel that repetition is "required" to neutralize the uncomfortable feeling.
In addition to feeling frustrated or guilty for not being able to control their own thoughts or actions, kids with OCD also may suffer from low self-esteem or from shame or embarrassment about what they're thinking or feeling (since they often realize that their fears are unrealistic, or that their rituals are not realistically going to prevent their feared events).
Kids might have difficulties with attention or concentration because of the intrusive thoughts.
Among kids and teens with OCD, the most common obsessions include:
•fear of dirt or germs
•fear of contamination
•a need for symmetry, order, and precision
•religious obsessions
•preoccupation with body wastes
•lucky and unlucky numbers
•sexual or aggressive thoughts
•fear of illness or harm coming to oneself or relatives
•preoccupation with household items
•intrusive sounds or words
When a child with OCD tries to contain these thoughts or behaviors, this creates anxiety.
Doctors consider OCD to be a pattern of obsessive thinking and rituals that does one or more of the following:
•takes up more than an hour each day
•causes distress
•interferes with daily activities
Those three words make most people picture of a person engaged in some insane hand-washing ritual or nit-picky cleaning habits, but that is not the whole picture. I personally have OCD and I can tell you it is not as funny or light-hearted as society makes it out to be. I get really annoyed when I hear my friends and family make jokes about being "so OCD" because they have a strict cleaning regimen or because they like things done their way. Those types of things are what you see on the outside of a person with OCD. What is going on inside their head is actually a scary, confusing hot mess!
I can recall so many events from my childhood that scream OCD, but I never let anyone see them. I was nervous and ashamed by my thoughts. Growing up Christian I knew that God was in control of everything, but I still would fear that if I didn't do this or that just right I would get sick or something bad would happen to someone I loved. I was fortunate enough to have an AMAZING childhood. I was an only child, which has it's priviledges! I had every toy you could inmagine (except the Barbie Dream House...yeah I'm still bitter about that one). I was loved and doted upon by most every adult in my life. I never had to wear hand-me-downs or worn out shoes. I got fancy prom dresses, a cruise on my 18th birthday, and most importantly unlimited moral support. Even with all that, every single one of my childhood memories is of me feeling nervous, anxious, scared, shy, you name it!
OCD is so hard to explain and I do intend to either blog or write out my personal struggles with it someday (I think!) but for now, I wanted to share some information that helps clear up some of the misconceptions of OCD...it is SO much more than wanting all of your DVD's organized by year and in alphabetical order. It's more than checking and re-checking that the door is locked. This article does a good job of describing what it FEELS like to have OCD. It's about children with OCD but it totally applies to people of any age. All of the following is taken directly from http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/OCD.html
With OCD, upsetting or scary thoughts or images, called obsessions, pop into a person's mind and are hard to shake.
Think of OCD as an "overactive alarm system." The rise in anxiety or worry is so strong that a child feels like he or she must perform the task or dwell on the thought, over and over again, to the point where it interferes with everyday life.
Most kids with OCD realize that they really don't have to repeat the behaviors over and over again, but the anxiety can be so great that they feel that repetition is "required" to neutralize the uncomfortable feeling.
In addition to feeling frustrated or guilty for not being able to control their own thoughts or actions, kids with OCD also may suffer from low self-esteem or from shame or embarrassment about what they're thinking or feeling (since they often realize that their fears are unrealistic, or that their rituals are not realistically going to prevent their feared events).
Kids might have difficulties with attention or concentration because of the intrusive thoughts.
Among kids and teens with OCD, the most common obsessions include:
•fear of dirt or germs
•fear of contamination
•a need for symmetry, order, and precision
•religious obsessions
•preoccupation with body wastes
•lucky and unlucky numbers
•sexual or aggressive thoughts
•fear of illness or harm coming to oneself or relatives
•preoccupation with household items
•intrusive sounds or words
When a child with OCD tries to contain these thoughts or behaviors, this creates anxiety.
Doctors consider OCD to be a pattern of obsessive thinking and rituals that does one or more of the following:
•takes up more than an hour each day
•causes distress
•interferes with daily activities
October Bucket List
In no particular order, here are the things I would love to do this month;
~hayride with Cider & Donuts
~ watch Hocus Pocus & make halloween cupcakes with Ava
~ go to a Halloween Party
~ watch Dark Shadows & the Woman in Black while enjoying halloween themed snacks (thank you pinterest!)
~ Halloweekends at Cedar Point
~ take Ava to Trick or Treat & Ghost Train at Crossroads Village
~ carve pumpkins & bake the seeds
~ drink some of my fave Witches Brew wine
~ host or go to a seance (er...maybe!)
~ spend a long weekend at the cabin
~ introduce Ava to HalloweenTown and Twitches
~ help out at the Trunk Trot & harvest party at Ava's school
~go to some of the awesome upcoming events at Lotus Healing Arts Center
~ halloween & fall crafts with Ava
That's my list (for now) - not sure I'll have time to fit it all in!! Why does the best month of the year have to go by so quickly??
What are some things you are looking forward to doing this month?
~
~ watch Hocus Pocus & make halloween cupcakes with Ava
~ go to a Halloween Party
~ watch Dark Shadows & the Woman in Black while enjoying halloween themed snacks (thank you pinterest!)
~ Halloweekends at Cedar Point
~ take Ava to Trick or Treat & Ghost Train at Crossroads Village
~ carve pumpkins & bake the seeds
~ drink some of my fave Witches Brew wine
~ host or go to a seance (er...maybe!)
~ spend a long weekend at the cabin
~ introduce Ava to HalloweenTown and Twitches
~ help out at the Trunk Trot & harvest party at Ava's school
~
~ halloween & fall crafts with Ava
That's my list (for now) - not sure I'll have time to fit it all in!! Why does the best month of the year have to go by so quickly??
What are some things you are looking forward to doing this month?
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Icky Sickies
For a while now I've been making my own "remedies" (some refer to them as potions...haha). Yesterday I developed a nasty sore throat & cough, so I have been putting much of my tricks to the test. I'll share a few in case you have the icky sickies too...
Sore Throat Sipper
1 cup hot water
1 1/2 Tbsp honey
1 Tbsp lemon juice
Just mix and sip! This is such an amazing throat soother. Use it anytime your throat needs a little TLC (or a lot)
Onion & Garlic Poultice
1 onion, chopped
1 clove garlic
1 cup apple cider vinegar
Put all three ingredients in an oven safe dish and back at 350 until soft & carmalized-ish; strain liquid; saturate washcloth in strained liquid; place washcloth on upper chest; cover with plastic wrap; apply heat pack; lay down and rest for at least 30 minutes
Chamomile Poultice
Soak washcloth in a cup of freshly brewed chamomile tea; follow same application steps as above
Cold Remedy
1 Tsp honey
1/4 Tsp cinnamon
Mix together and take twice a day at onset of cold
(This tastes great and I use it for Ava as well)
Medicine Teapot
Equal amounts spearmint, wood betony, rosemary, eucalyptus
1 Tsp ginsing
1 Tsp gota kola
2 Tsp black tea (any kind)
Bring to a boil in teapot and let steep for at least 3 minutes
Lapis Lazuli
A stone/crystal that can boosts the immune system. Can be rubbed along sinuses or swollen throat glands. Submerge in a glass of water for 5 minutes, remove, drink water. Place stones in foot soak or bathtub.
Sore Throat Sipper
1 cup hot water
1 1/2 Tbsp honey
1 Tbsp lemon juice
Just mix and sip! This is such an amazing throat soother. Use it anytime your throat needs a little TLC (or a lot)
Onion & Garlic Poultice
1 onion, chopped
1 clove garlic
1 cup apple cider vinegar
Put all three ingredients in an oven safe dish and back at 350 until soft & carmalized-ish; strain liquid; saturate washcloth in strained liquid; place washcloth on upper chest; cover with plastic wrap; apply heat pack; lay down and rest for at least 30 minutes
Chamomile Poultice
Soak washcloth in a cup of freshly brewed chamomile tea; follow same application steps as above
Cold Remedy
1 Tsp honey
1/4 Tsp cinnamon
Mix together and take twice a day at onset of cold
(This tastes great and I use it for Ava as well)
Medicine Teapot
Equal amounts spearmint, wood betony, rosemary, eucalyptus
1 Tsp ginsing
1 Tsp gota kola
2 Tsp black tea (any kind)
Bring to a boil in teapot and let steep for at least 3 minutes
Lapis Lazuli
A stone/crystal that can boosts the immune system. Can be rubbed along sinuses or swollen throat glands. Submerge in a glass of water for 5 minutes, remove, drink water. Place stones in foot soak or bathtub.
Political Rant
One of the best privledges of being an American is the freedom to think for your self....yet so few actually do it. So many rely on the media and other people to tell them what they should think. I personally despise politics with a firey passion. In my opinion it doesn't matter one iota who gets elected president...they all are liars and cheaters and schemers. Romney/Obama...whatever. Democrat/Republican...whatever. I know I will get a lot of static for this, but I don't vote. Sure every vote counts, but why should I have to choose the lesser of two evils? If there were a candidate that I really supported and believed in (hahaha) then of course I would vote, but until that day comes I refuse to choose the lesser of two evils just because. This push to vote vote vote annoys me because uneducated voters then show up and vote for whomever has the best neckties or whatnot. Since I don't follow politics (unless Weekend Update on SNL counts?! No?) that's another reason for me not to vote. Maybe I'm not upholding my civic duty or whatever, but I will forever be faithful to my God than to the American government and our "leaders". I have one leader and in the end He will be the best president the world has ever known!
Long time no blog...
Wow it has been a busy summer...some highlights;
~ finsihed dental assisting school (looking for a job...)
~ sent my one and only baby off to kindergarten (which is sad and exciting)
~ applied for a seasonal job at Bronner's (it's an amazing place to work!!)
~ signed Ava up for riding lessons (she took to it like a champ!)
~ lots of "back to school" shopping (Ava's school has a semi-strict dress code)
~ still "witching" it up making tinctures, poultices and other natural remedies (will post some later)
~ finished my first book about "regular" people (no witches, vampires, or other supernatural beings...yeah it was boring)
~ imagined a great idea for a book (always wanted to write one...if i ever have time)
~ Ava got her first loose tooth (still not out yet)
~ spent an entire week at the cabin with Ava & my parents (can't we just move there already)
Now that summer is over (can you say HOT) and fall is approaching I am in the mood for all things fall! I love warm drinks, hoodies, jeans, ugg boots, blankets, fires, sweet treats, Halloween, pumpkins, sunny & cool days, crisp leaves, changing colors, and so much more! Thank you God for the blessing of autumn <3
~ finsihed dental assisting school (looking for a job...)
~ sent my one and only baby off to kindergarten (which is sad and exciting)
~ applied for a seasonal job at Bronner's (it's an amazing place to work!!)
~ signed Ava up for riding lessons (she took to it like a champ!)
~ lots of "back to school" shopping (Ava's school has a semi-strict dress code)
~ still "witching" it up making tinctures, poultices and other natural remedies (will post some later)
~ finished my first book about "regular" people (no witches, vampires, or other supernatural beings...yeah it was boring)
~ imagined a great idea for a book (always wanted to write one...if i ever have time)
~ Ava got her first loose tooth (still not out yet)
~ spent an entire week at the cabin with Ava & my parents (can't we just move there already)
Now that summer is over (can you say HOT) and fall is approaching I am in the mood for all things fall! I love warm drinks, hoodies, jeans, ugg boots, blankets, fires, sweet treats, Halloween, pumpkins, sunny & cool days, crisp leaves, changing colors, and so much more! Thank you God for the blessing of autumn <3
Friday, June 15, 2012
Love. Peace. Life.
I sense that I am at a very important place in my life. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and what not. Some call it Saturn's Return, which basically means that during a persons 27th (ish) year, the planet Saturn is in the exact position it was the year you were born. I'm not into astrology or anything, but I do believe that God put the stars and planets in the sky to do more than just look pretty. Like how the moon affects the tides, which in turn affect so many other things! So I buy into the thought that this "return of Saturn" can have major effects on people...or maybe it's just that approaching 30 makes you sort out your life. Either way, I can see in my self that I am maturing and getting a wee bit wiser. Life has been one hell of a roller-coaster for a few years now. A roller coaster that I wanted off of RIGHTNOW! but God intended for me to stay on that ride for a while longer and now here I am approaching the end of the ride. I've learned so much and I know I have so much left to learn and I find it exciting.
Some of the big life lessons I am learning:
~ Be yourself; God made me to be ME. When I feel like I am being someone I am not, that's God saying "Uh, girlfriend that is NOT who you are supposed to be!" I can't spend my life trying to be who everyone else wants me to be. As long as I keep trying to mold my personal morals and ethics to the shape of God's then I am doing the best I can. You can take me or leave me baby!
~ Life is meant to be pure. I have a desire to live life more purely, not only in the way I think, talk, and entertain myself, but also in what I eat and do with my body. I'm not going to turn into some health-nut (come on now!) but I am realizing the importance of being healthy. Organic foods, herbal remedies, yoga, peace, tinctures, walks, nature...these are all the things I will be introducing into my life. This will be crazy hard because I am the laziest person ever and that lifestyle is not for lazy people! ;-)
~ Love is so much more than romance or caring for someone. True love is all consuming. I believe the purpose of life is love. Loving God, loving yourself, loving others. Every dark and evil thing in life is a result of someone somewhere losing sight of what it truly means to love purely and completely. If humanity would just learn to love and to respect things would be a lot different.
Some of the big life lessons I am learning:
~ Be yourself; God made me to be ME. When I feel like I am being someone I am not, that's God saying "Uh, girlfriend that is NOT who you are supposed to be!" I can't spend my life trying to be who everyone else wants me to be. As long as I keep trying to mold my personal morals and ethics to the shape of God's then I am doing the best I can. You can take me or leave me baby!
~ Life is meant to be pure. I have a desire to live life more purely, not only in the way I think, talk, and entertain myself, but also in what I eat and do with my body. I'm not going to turn into some health-nut (come on now!) but I am realizing the importance of being healthy. Organic foods, herbal remedies, yoga, peace, tinctures, walks, nature...these are all the things I will be introducing into my life. This will be crazy hard because I am the laziest person ever and that lifestyle is not for lazy people! ;-)
~ Love is so much more than romance or caring for someone. True love is all consuming. I believe the purpose of life is love. Loving God, loving yourself, loving others. Every dark and evil thing in life is a result of someone somewhere losing sight of what it truly means to love purely and completely. If humanity would just learn to love and to respect things would be a lot different.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Couponing!?
I am trying to get into the whole couponing craze, but as a generally lazy individual I find it to take more effort than I would like. BUT I'm gonna suck it up and go for it anyway. I would benefit from the savings for sure and it's my little way of "sticking it to the man" hehe. I have the advice/guidance of my friends Jen & Sarah who are super-dooper couponers so hopefully their skills will rub off on me. If not I could always try to bribe them to let me buy their "freebies" off of them...? Eh, we'll see!!
Friday, January 13, 2012
What has got me talking about football...
...Tim Tebow of course!
I am NOT a sports follower, but I do know a few players (typically just the hotties). I don't really care how far they throw a touch-down or how many yards they can sack or whatever, lol. BUT I have an interest in Tebow, as does most of the country these days. From my limited knowledge I can gather that he is an awesome ball player, and an outstanding example of a God-fearing & God-loving Christian. So of course he is being attacked by haters. I was under the impression that each time Tebow scored a touchdown he would and I quote "praise Jesus in an obnoxious fashion while shoving Christianity down the throats of those watching". So I am thinking wowzers this guy is crazy! Then I see that in reality all he is doing is simply kneeling in prayer for a quick second....someone please tell me how that is obnoxious or forcing Christianity on anyone?!?! Tim Tebow seems like an outstanding guy in many ways. What little I know of his story is pretty cool and I plan to read his bio soon. It just makes me sick that in America we are expected to be soooo accepting of every religion, belief, lifestyle, etc. If a Christian speaks out against gay marriage, abortion, etc we are horrible people, BUT everyone else can openly mock Christians and it's tolerated and accepted. Makes a lot of sense to me *rolls eyes*.
I am NOT a sports follower, but I do know a few players (typically just the hotties). I don't really care how far they throw a touch-down or how many yards they can sack or whatever, lol. BUT I have an interest in Tebow, as does most of the country these days. From my limited knowledge I can gather that he is an awesome ball player, and an outstanding example of a God-fearing & God-loving Christian. So of course he is being attacked by haters. I was under the impression that each time Tebow scored a touchdown he would and I quote "praise Jesus in an obnoxious fashion while shoving Christianity down the throats of those watching". So I am thinking wowzers this guy is crazy! Then I see that in reality all he is doing is simply kneeling in prayer for a quick second....someone please tell me how that is obnoxious or forcing Christianity on anyone?!?! Tim Tebow seems like an outstanding guy in many ways. What little I know of his story is pretty cool and I plan to read his bio soon. It just makes me sick that in America we are expected to be soooo accepting of every religion, belief, lifestyle, etc. If a Christian speaks out against gay marriage, abortion, etc we are horrible people, BUT everyone else can openly mock Christians and it's tolerated and accepted. Makes a lot of sense to me *rolls eyes*.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
A Jolly Christmas to You
I sincerely hope you had a great Christmas this year. As I said in my status update; "You have the ability to make this Christmas great no matter how unfortunate your current situation may be." And I hope you did just that.
Honestly, the holiday season could be torture for someone who is struggling with loss, hurt, dispare. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for some people, but then if you really think about it...Christmas is kind of a feeling of the heart. I mean of course it is a real celebration of the birth of our Saviour, but it's also about showing the love of Christ through your own heart. Even if you have no money to buy presents for your kids, you can still bless them with lasting memories and happiness.
Honestly, the holiday season could be torture for someone who is struggling with loss, hurt, dispare. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for some people, but then if you really think about it...Christmas is kind of a feeling of the heart. I mean of course it is a real celebration of the birth of our Saviour, but it's also about showing the love of Christ through your own heart. Even if you have no money to buy presents for your kids, you can still bless them with lasting memories and happiness.
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