One of my biggest struggles in this stage of my life is that I don't have a career. Not that I am like super into working or anything (My ideal career would be an heiress or a wife to a billionaire. I don't want much.) I just wish that I could do one of the things I love for the rest of my life. Throughout my life there have been two careers I've always dreamed of having. But life takes funny twists and turns and you often end up nowhere near your intended destination.
I recently completed dental assisting school, but it is not even close to anything I would ever enjoy doing. The whole medical field has a big red X on it for me. It would be torture...medical is so calculated and precise and stringent. There is no room for improvisation or creativity or happy mistakes. Honestly I only chose dental school because it was a quick fairly simple program and I was a recently divorced single-mom without a penny to my name. I needed something that would pay the bills ASAP. Turns out available dental jobs are hard to find and the few interviews I have been on abruptly ended once I mentioned my education was from Ross (talk about a $15,000 disappointment!).
If I had the time & money I would be in school right now working on one of two degrees; English Major with a Minor in Creative Writing, or Early Elementary Education. Those have both been my passion for most of my life. I love writing and I love children. To be able to give them the tools necessary to become educated individuals, as well as provide a safe and loving atmosphere five days a week would be a dream come true. As would having a published novel!
But everytime I think about those posibilities I tell myself to stop being ridiculous. I have an abundance of excuses, and most are actually legit. For example; I can't afford it, I don't have the time, I need to be working instead of taking a full load of classes, I'm too old, IT'S TOO LATE.
Ugh...I try to not worry myself with regrets, but if I had to chose one that kills me the most it would have to be not being serious about college and sticking it out to completion of a degree when I was young and able.
You can and are pouring that creativity into raising little miss Ava! There may be other options out there where you can use your creativity and still feel like you are making an impact plus doing something you enjoy doing. Don't give up, seek the Lord and He will lead you.
ReplyDeletemy husband and I are separated/going through a divorce right now. I am just praying so hard that I will at least be able to stay home with my kids until they are all in school. All I have ever wanted was to be a wife/mom.
ReplyDeleteJust my 2 cents worth, because really if you don't think you can, or don't want to then you really can't. I went back to school, nursing school at 31. I worked full time 3rd shift and took classes, Jennifer and I, until all our pre-requisites were done. In that time I had 2 babies. Squeezed them in somehow. ;) I supported us because Dennis worked construction and it was never steady. I was not a single mom, but I lived on my own.... Dennis and his mom and dad watched the boys a lot. I have always had a house payment, we never took vacations, and they can tell you that even up north was a difficult task, time or money was never there. When I got to clinicals I still worked full time, I did clinicals full time, and I don't really know how I did it.... I was older than you are now. I had the benefit of Dennis usually being there for the boys, luckily you have your mom and dad, and hopefully no house payment or consumers or phone or ... well, you get the picture. I Love medical because it IS so creative, so open, so full of impact on another person. So many opportunites to teach. I've done professional development, made posters, displays, banners, arranged nurses week celebrations, tons and tons of creative and artsy things.... I even wrote something on a blog and it's been passed round and round and thousands of people have read it.... And people aren't cookie cutter people, there is loads of room for improvisation, camaraderie, joyful fun..... You are a smart and talented girl Katie, yet you keep telling yourself why you can't do something. If you have that degree, there are lots of ways you can use it, you can volunteer, who knows where that will lead? I've done career days at Davison and Grand Blanc for 7th graders.... lots of improvisation, creativity and helping to educate... You could do a healthy mouth demonstration for any one of the classes at St. Paul... I would think they'd love to have the extra help. You spent the time, the money, the days studying... you have to just keep on. There are tons of things to teach and educate about dental practice in our young children, and even the adolescent population... the more people you get exposed to, the more options you have... like a ripple in a pond, you don't know where it will lead, but it will unfold... open yourself up to the possibilities, to God's love and direction, go, even if it's scary and not your norm, experience, grow into the person you want to be, Ava's courageous, self reliant, happy and peaceful mom.
ReplyDeleteWell, just my thoughts anyway. xoxo Sherri